by Shoshana Olidort
When Esther Rosenhaus called her mother from Bais Chana, in S. Paul, Minnesota, she had one objective in mind: “I wanted to get my mom to come to Bais Chana. I loved it so much and I knew she would too, and she deserved it.”
“My daughter told me ‘I’m not coming home until you come,’” says Esther’s mother, Sharon. It was a far cry from where Esther had been when she signed up for her first Bais Chana teen session, in the winter of 2000, something she says she did solely to “please my parents.”
Expecting a “series of lectures telling me what I can and cannot do,” Esther soon found that Bais Chana was hardly about dogma. Instead, she says, the experience opened her mind and “forced me to think more seriously and deeply into things,” like prayer and modesty. “I gained a real sense of responsibility,” says Esther, who began to understand the far-reaching effects of her every act, and felt empowered by the control over her own life that came with that.
Nearly three years and several Bais Chana sessions later, Esther points to a sense of openness, genuine warmth, and mutual respect, as what won her heart here at Bais Chana. From late night discussions with Rabbi Friedman, to the meaningful friendships forged and activities at once fun and thought-provoking, Bais Chana, says Esther, gives girls “the tools to help themselves grow, intellectually and spiritually” without any pressure, just support and love, all the way.
“Everything is explained very rationally. It’s not about preaching, it’s about the facts and how they shape our lives,” says Esther, who felt her outlook on life and Judaism begin to shift, as her knowledge and understanding was broadened. But it wasn’t until this summer, that she felt the need to let her new outlook take immediate effect in real life. “I decided I didn’t want this to be just another wonderful summer experience, I wanted its effects to carry me through.” If hosting the past Bais Chana session at her family home in New Jersey, and inviting her own girlfriends to join, is any indication, Esther has come a long way.
For Sharon, who did join her daughter for the women’s session at Bais Chana that summer, the experience was meaningful on a whole myriad of levels. The insightful discussions on relationships, child-rearing and spirituality, says Sharon, profoundly enhanced her own connection to G-d and Torah.
Perhaps most powerful, though, was her incentive for coming. “Bais Chana,” says Sharon, “was a gift that my daughter gave me. She went out on a limb for me, and reached out to me, sharing an experience that was meaningful to her, with me.”
Postcript: So how about the happily-ever-after? You won’t be disappointed:
Upon graduating from high school, Esther attended seminary in Israel. In addition to her required coursework, she completed a certificate in community work in order to hone the special skills one needs to connect to other Jews searching for their place in Judaism. She returned to the States more committed than ever to her Judaism and was blessed to become engaged shortly after her return. The new couple is now living their married life back in Israel. Certainly, this won’t be the last we hear of this amazing young woman.
A heartfelt “thank you” to the Rosenhaus family for so generously hosting Bais Chana’s fall teen session, five years and counting, on their beautiful family estate.
Shoshana Olidort is a freelance writer living in New York.